The Sunday Cop-out, Wherein Dueg is a Filthy Liar

Pictured: My nemesis / best friend

What?  Huh?  *peers around, blurry eyed*  Oh, that’s right, Sunday RP, like I promised yesterday before I went to the wedding.  The wedding with the open bar… that glorious, beautiful open bar where Jack Daniels waterfalls flow into rivers of Coca-cola, whispering to Dueg.  Telling him that it’s ok, one more drink will help him dance better.  See that disapproving look from Mrs Dueg?  It won’t look so disapproving through blurred vision.  Oh yes, it was quite a night… at least I think it was quite a night.

Point being that I am in no condition to be writing RP.  I’m hardly in any condition to be writing RP.  Plus I have to go to a birthday party for Mr.s Dueg’s sister and swing by my brother’s house to drop off my sister-in-law’s birthday present.  Busy day for Dueg.  Anyways, I’m going to try my absolute best to get an RP post this week in order to make up for the missing one this weekend.  Again, I apologize and trust me when I say that I’ve learned my lesson and will not be drinking the devil’s water again… says the filthy liar.

-Dueg

The Saturday Cop-out, Wherein Dueg has a Wedding to Attend

I'd rather be playing WoW

Heya everyone, sorry about this but there won’t be an RP post today because I have to attend a wedding this afternoon.  I had hoped to be able to write it up this morning, but between having to make breakfast, picking up the last part of the gift for the happy couple and still having to bathe my filthy self and get ready, my time is somewhat limited.  But worry not, faithful readers, all both of you, for I shall return tomorrow with the RP post, and it shall be glorious fantastic a post.

Anyways, I must run now as Mrs Dueg is yelling at me to get my butt in the car.  So until tomorrow, I hope everyone has a fantastic Saturday (I know it’s gorgeous on Long Island right now) and I’ll see everyone here tomorrow for a little RP action.  TTFN, Ta-Ta For Now.

-Dueg

Friday Strats – Assembly of Iron

With our powers combined...

Ah yes, the Assembly of Iron, or, as some people call them, the Iron Council.  These three baddies are a pretty cool little encounter in Ulduar where the difficulty actually scales depending on which order you kill them.  I’ve only ever done the fight on easy mode myself, which really isn’t that easy, but after doing some research, I’ll try my best to describe the varying degrees of difficulty based on the order.  So let’s get started and as always, we begin with…

The Prep

You’re going to need one tank for each of the mobs, which will all need to be spaced out through the room so that they’re nowhere near each other.  Whichever tank is assigned to Steelbreaker will need at least two dedicated healers and at least one dedicated dispeller (I’ll get to that in a bit), however, you may want to assign three if you’re having trouble keeping Steelbreaker’s tank alive.  The other two tanks will also need a dedicated healer and you’ll need at least one healer on raid healing as there will be constant ticking damage on the whole raid for as long as Steelbreaker is alive.  Once you’ve hashed out who goes where, simply buff up and have the tanks pull.

The Fight

I’m going to describe each individual bosses abilities and tactics separately, but first let me cover a few universal things dealing with them.  When one of the bosses is killed, they give a buff to other two which immediately heals them back to full and gives them a 25% damage buff.  It will also grant whomever is left an additional ability with the final one pretty much changing up your previous strats.  Also, as I said, you’ll need to separate them into three areas of the room, we usually pull Steelbreaker and Runemaster to the two opposite corners closest to the door while another tank will move the Stormcaller to the back of the room in order to tank him there.  Now we’ll look at each individual boss.

Steelbreaker

This boss is the key to whether or not you want easy or hard mode.  Because of his abilities and the fact that he hits extremely hard before he even gets the 25% bonus to damage, you’ll want to kill him first if you’re not attempting hard mode.  When all three bosses are up, he’ll only have two abilities: High Voltage, which is an aura that deals 2,500 nature damage every three seconds  to everyone in the room and Fusion Punch, which is a channeled cast that deals 100% weapon damage to the tank and leaves a DoT behind dealing an additional 17,000 nature damage every second.  This DoT is dispellable and must be removed immediately.  I suggest assigning a dedicated dispeller who simply spams their dispel as soon as this is ability is cast in order to remove it right away.

If Steelbreaker is still up after one boss dies, he immediately gains an effect called Static Disruption that he can cast on any random player not in melee range.  This is a 6 yard AoE effect that increases nature damage taken by 75% for twenty seconds, which means that they’ll begin taking about 4,250 or so nature damage every three seconds during that time (that’s fuzzy math, so don’t quote me on that).  The raid will need to spread out in order to avoid more than one person being affected by this ability at a time.  

If Steelbreaker is the last boss left alive, he gains an ability called Overwhelming Power which he will apply to the tank, increasing damage dealt by 200% but causing a Meltdown after 30 seconds, which will automatically kill your tank and deal up to 30,000 damage to anyone within 15 yards, most likely killing them as well.  If Steelbreaker is the last mob standing he will regain 15% health and a 25% damage damage buff whenever any member of the raid dies.  Since he will definitely be killing at least one member of the raid (the original MT) and his damage is already increased by 50% from the other two mobs dying, this means that this is an intense DPS race that will need a lot of heals, so it’s only suggested for the strongest of guilds.

Runemaster Molgeim

This is the middle height guy who will occasionally buff the other members of the Assembly.  He starts off with two abilities: rune of Power is a ground based AoE damage buff.  It is vitally important for your tanks to be aware of whether or not this is cast upon their targets and move them off it asap.  If Steelbreaker is allowed to stand in this rune, he’ll smash your tank’s face in very quickly and please note that Stormcaller must be silenced in order to get him to move if the rune pops under him.  Players can stand in these runes to gain the damage buff themselves.  He will also occasionally cast Shield of Runes which absorbs up to 50,000 damage and one it pops will buff Molgeim with a 50% damage increase.  This ability can be dispelled or stolen by mages.

If he’s alive after one boss dies, the Runemaster will gain the ability to cast Runes of Death which are going to be huge ground based AoE effects that deal 6,000 nature damage per second to anyone standing in them.  Your raid must be prepared to move very quickly if these appear in order to keep the strain on healers to a minimum.  If he’s that last boss standing, Molgeim will cast a Rune of Summoning which will begin to spawn untauntable lightning elementals who will randomly target raid members and begin chasing them.  

If they reach who they’re targeting, they’ll explode, dealing around 15,000 damage to all players in a 30 yard radius.  Each rune will spawn around 10 of them in about a 4 second time span, one right after the other.  You can snare them, so you’ll want totems or frost mages working overtime to keep them moving slow while your AoE works them down.  If one escapes from the AoE, whoever they’re targeting needs to book it while the ranged works on the mob.

Stormcaller Brundir

Considered the easiest mob and usually left till last, he’s also the most annoying since he’ll simply start casting ranged spells if you try to move him.  Like the other two bosses, he starts with two abilities: Chain Lightning, which is a straight damage spell that will arc to up to five players and is interruptible.  He also has an Overload ability which has a small cast time and will end with him dealing 30,000 nature damage to all enemies within 30 yards of him.  I’ve heard tell that tanks can eat this with proper cooldowns and whatnot, but I recommend they gtfo.

If still alive after the first boss dies, Brundir gains an ability called Lightning Whirl which looks like a whirlwind but instead will hit random raid members with lightning, dealing up to 7,400 nature damage.  This is a 5 second channeled ability and, like Chain Lightning, is interruptible.  If Brundir is the final boss alive, and he will be if you want to do it the easiest way, he will gain his final ability, called Lightning Tendrils.  This will cause him to rise up in the air and randomly target a raid member who he’ll start chasing.  All raid members within a 10 yard radius of the spot where he’s floating will be struck by lightning, taking 8,000 nature damage per second, so you must be prepared to move if he’s near you.  This ability is also a threat wipe when he lands, so make sure to allow your tank to pick it back up.

Basically, the most intense healing phase of this fight is going to be while Steelbreaker is up as he will test single target heals with his high melee damage and raid healing with his nature damage aura.  The healer assigned to Brundir’s tank will need to be aware of Overload and make sure to be standing at close to max range in order to avoid getting one shotted by it.  Other than that, the fight’s not too difficult if done in the “easy” order.  As I’ve said, I can’t comment on the harder versions of the fight just yet, but it sounds like leaving Steelbreaker up will truly make healers weep and gnash their teeth.

The Loot

10 Man

Lady Maye’s Sapphire Ring – This is an attractive ring for both holy and shadow, especially with the higher spirit total on it.  Disc definitely has better options elsewhere.

Runetouch Handwraps – These are probably going to be best served on the wrists of a shadow priest, and even then they are definitely replaceable.  There’s better for holy and disc priests out there.

Stormtip – This is better served in the hands of a resto druid or a shadow priest, but healery types should look elsewhere.

Watchful Eye – Drops from hard mode, this neck slot item is not as attractive for holy priests as it is the other two varieties, though the gem slot does add versatility to it.

25 Man

Overload Legwraps – With hit rating, haste and SP out the wazoo, these leggings are going to be a shadow priest’s best friend for quite a while, I’m sure.

Radiant Seal – This has more of a Disc or Shadow feel to it to me, but Holy should jump on it if they get a chance and need the upgrade.

Raiments of the Iron Council – More suited for shadow with the haste rating, I’d still pick these up if you’re a healer thanks to the flexibility of the gem slots.

Rapture – Not just for looking pretty, this staff will be the second BiS for all three specs until your raid can down Hodir in hard mode.  Please note how awesome my banner looks because of this staff… and that I’m a total whore for loot.

Unblinking Eye – This is a fantastic neck piece for both shadow and holy.  Disc will find better options from a couple of different sources.

Sapphire Amulet of Renewal – I find this neck piece to be somewhat of a disappointment for a hard mode drop.  That being said, it’s still a very nice item for shadow, not so much for holy.  There are better hard mode neck pieces for Disc, but don’t let that stop you from picking this up if you need it.

And that’s it for the Assembly of Iron.  This fight is fun and chaotic at the same time, so be sure your group is ready for whichever order you decide to do it in.  Next week we’ll finish up the Antechamber of Ulduar with the crazy cat lady, Auriaya.

-Dueg

Horde v Alliance, Let’s Get This Party Started

That looks about right

Yesterday I was sifting through my google reader when this little gem popped up from WoW.com.  In it, Allison Robert (who’s writing style I love, btw) makes a spectacular argument for why Varian Wrynn isn’t just an unfit leader and total jerkface, but also why he’s a fool and how his actions are actually serving to further damage the Alliance rather than help it.  She points out how he’s allowing personal vendettas and his understandably unbalanced emotions to dictate Alliance policy, further fracturing the tenuous peace in place with the Horde.  If you haven’t read it already, I suggest you go read it right now, but be prepared as it’s a long one.

One thing about this article is how it highlights the fact that more and more lately, these two political superpowers are on a collision course to full scale war against each other again.  With Wrynn baying for blood and Garrosh’s growing influence over Horde policies and it’s military, it’s only a matter of time until a small spark sets off the powder keg that is the Horde-Alliance diplomatic relationship.  And on that day, Dueg will stand upon the ramparts, looking down at the milling armies of his enemies, and say, “It’s about fucking time”.

Yes, I’m a warmonger.  I identify with my Blood Elf priest much more than I ever did with my dwarf (or my night elf, or my human) priest and I can say that I’ve grown tired of Varian Wrynn being all emo and whiny.  ”Oh, the horde killed my parents, the horde enslaved me and threw me in an arena which made me the totally awesome fighter I am today, boo hoo, woe is me”.  Barf.  Look, the fact is that it’s almost universally accepted that Wrynn, though slightly justified, is a total ass who wants only war.  So c’mon Wrynn, shit or get off the pot.

I’ve also got some ideas for the coming war, which I call Wrynn’s War (you can use that, Blizzard, you’re welcome), such as how to start it and various things that can be done in game.  First off, though I’m loathe to say this as he’s one of my favorite video game characters of all time, Thrall’s got to go.  He’s too wishy-washy and always hemming and hawing when it comes to decisive military action.  It’s noble to want peace, but when it’s time for war you must put away the diplomat’s pen and I just don’t think Thrall can do that.

So I think that the best way to get the war started, and Jezriyah will have to forgive me for this, is the assassination of Thrall by Varian’s agents followed by a surprise attack on one of the major Horde cities.  However, if the Alliance makes the first move, then Wrynn will have an uphill battle trying to convince the other leaders within his faction to go along with it, especially the haughty Night Elves and spiritual Draenei.  So the answer is to have an assassination within the Alliance upper echelons orchestrated by Wrynn in order to make it look like a retaliation instead of an offensive.  The perfect target?  Jaina Proudmoore.  Get her and Thrall out of the way and the two loudest voices for peace are gone.  

You could even spare Thrall and simply have Jaina assassinated by Wrynn who would then begin an offensive by blaming it on the Horde, but I believe this would lead to a power struggle between Garrosh and Thrall.  Thrall will, of course, want peace and most likely try to fight a defensive war while trying to expose Wrynn for the maniac that he is and Garrosh will want to go on the offensive, reveling in the bloodshed like the orc he is.  However, that would weaken the Horde in the face of the oncoming enemy, making defeat and annihilation much more like.  And we certainly can’t have the Horde losing, now can we?

However it gets going though, an all out war between the two factions would mean a plethora of new ideas and mechanics that would be possible within the game.  One idea that I sorely want implemented and would only make sense during war time: Faction specific instances.  Think about it, an instance, raid or five man, where the Horde zone in and all the enemies are Alliance or vice versa.  You must then fight your way to the end in order to bring down an experimental weapon or kill a top army commander.  Raids on cities should also become impossible for the time being as it wouldn’t make much sense for 40 people to stop a war by simply killing the faction leaders.  Maybe extra guards or beef them up so all the guards have boss stats, I dunno.

Fact is, this war’s been a long time coming.  Wrynn’s begging for it and I for one say we should give it to him, bring him down a notch, beat the tar out of him, and all sorts of other colloquial sayings.  What makes me so certain that the Horde would win?  Because if there was a war, the Horde would have to win.  Wrynn won’t be satisfied until every orc and anyone who stands with them is exterminated to the last man, woman and child.  The orcs, who are synonymous with the Horde, only want a place to live, somewhere that they can call home.  Garrosh doesn’t want to destroy his enemies, he wants to humiliate them, prove them his lesser and put them in their places.  Once that’s done, he’ll return home, satisfied that through might he has made an everlasting peace dictated by the orcs. 

So let’s get this show on the road!  The time has come to stop pussyfooting around and finally put sword to bone.  Blizzard’s done so much to promote animosity between the leadership of the factions lately that anything less than total war would be a let down.  Hell’s bells, I think they should devote a full expansion cycle to Wrynn’s War (again, you’re welcome, Blizzard), with war instances and maybe a couple of new Wintergrasp type zones in the middle of both continents from the old world.  The only trick would be to make it so that it’s not simply a venue for PvP but also a way for PvEers to get their war on for their factions.  No matter what happens though, for Dueg it comes down to three little words:

For the Horde.

-Dueg

Are You Ready for Ulduar?

Not ready

So last night I was chit chatting with a friend who mentioned that their last guild was still struggling on Saphirron, wiping four times before finally downing him.  The first thing I said after reading that sentence, without even thinking, was “They’re not ready for Ulduar”.  But what exactly is “ready for Ulduar”?  What makes a guild worthy of the purps that flow like honeyed wine from Ulduar’s vaulted chambers?  The question is more complicated than it first appears.

I’ll admit that the first reason that I said that without even thinking was that I truly believe that any guild ready for Ulduar should simply not be wiping on any fight in Naxx.  I’m not saying that only those with the immortal title are truly ready, but keep in mind that even the easiest fight in Ulduar is more complicated and difficult than anything you’ll see in Naxx.  Even Kel’Thuzad is somewhat precious in comparison to what you’ll face in Blizzard’s newest raid instance, though he’s not exactly a cupcake or anything.

Beyond simply not wiping, the fact is that Naxx, as the introductory raid for Wrath, should be somewhat of a litmus test for your guild.  You can’t declare yourself ready for the most difficult content before you are ready for the easiest, plain and simple.  The mechanics you learn are the equivalent of placing a bunch of cut outs of feet on the ground in order to learn a complicated dance.  They show you how to move and where to place yourself when the time comes for the real thing, making you better at what you do.

It’s also not just the average ilevel of your gear which will give you an indicator of whether or not you’re ready to face down the bosses of Ulduar.  Good gear only makes your abilities stronger and more capable of handing damage, but it doesn’t improve you.  Even if you’re wearing BiS in every gear slot, it won’t mean anything if you die within ten seconds of a boss pull.  If you don’t know where to stand and when to move, you might as well sit the raid out because you’re worse than useless at that point, no matter how awesome your staff looks.

Your achievements and/or previous boss kills are also not a good barometer for whether or not you’re ready for the next tier of content.  So what if you have A Poke in the Eye or Sarth 3D under your belt?  If you got those achievements while lying on the floor because you couldn’t be bothered to learn where to stand during certain phases, then you’re not ready.  Experience is a good thing, and any raider should want to experience all the end game content.  But it’s not everything, it won’t make you into a better raider unless you’re willing to learn from it.

So what does make you ready?  What is the benchmark?  Well, there are certain signs to look out for, but for the most part it has to be done on an individual evaluation of each of your raiders.  A guild where the top healer in Naxx can’t seem to stop casting when Ignis’ flame jets go off, wiping his raid because of a school lock, is not going to go very far at all.  If a majority of your DPS can’t learn when to stop attacking one target and quickly move to another will also generally go down in flames.  Your raiders have to know how to raid in Ulduar, you can’t just go through the motions.

Good leadership is also infinitely important during those first few forays into the new raid instance.  Weak leadership who is unwilling to call out raiders for stupid, easily avoided mistakes will see those mistakes over and over again.  They have to be willing to single people out, point out to the rest of the guild what is and is not acceptable and in extreme cases, even sit people.  They can’t be concerned with whether or not the guild likes them or wants to be their buddy, especially not if the guild is looking to progress beyond 3.0 raids.  

For example, the other night we had a player who came to raid without a flask, unable to min/max like we require from our raiders.  When called out, he admitted it and was told that since he wasn’t ready to raid, he had to leave because we had others waiting who were ready.  Now this guy is an OG, one of the guild originals and very good friends with the leadership.  But still, rules are rules and he was punished just like any other member of our raiding team would be.  He didn’t throw a fit or anything, simply said “ok” and left the raid.

So you see, it’s not about gear or experience or any of that, it’s about you, the player, and whether or not you are mentally prepared to be a raider.  A person in all blues who’s never done a raid before in his life but survives through to the end of every boss fight is going to be ten times more useful than a player in full epics who dies halfway through those same fights.  Naxx and OS with no drakes are very forgiving on those who don’t care about proper positioning and raiders can certainly play around in there.  But when it comes time to put your serious face on, you better be serious and you better be for the reals and prepared to dance the dance of boss fights.  If not, then you’re simply not ready for Ulduar.

-Dueg

Power Word: Useless

That shit is hilarious

So anyone who was following me over the holiday weekend knows that our guild finally got a disc priest to join our regular team of healing hawtness.  With pew pews here and laserz there, she wielded the light like a pro and we were finally able to down Mimi 25 as a guild (suck it, you mechano-chump).  However, before the raid, I, being the diligent raider that I am, did some research into what to expect as a holy priest when running with one of our more throughput challenged cousins.

Throughout my research, one major point kept popping up over and over again, hammering home a tip that it seems disc priests are desperate for holy priests to know: Don’t bubble people.  This tip makes sense to me.  Disc priests are the undisputed masters of damage mitigation and PW:S is a bread and butter spell for them.  It also leaves behind a debuff that prevents the person from being re-bubbled for 15 seconds, regardless of who cast the original bubble.  This can cause issues.

You see, if someone has a choice of which shield they’re going to take, they want the one that’s going to mitigate upwards of 6,000 damage (as some disc priest bubbles are known to do).  A holy priest’s shield, on the other hand, has no talent boosts and is a fairly minimal mitigator for damage, usually gone from half a single melee hit of even the trash mobs.  A disc priest also relies heavily on their shield being destroyed in order to regen mana during fights thanks to some talent retooling for 3.1.  So the basic rule of thumb is that holy should only bubble themselves in emergencies and leave the mitigation to the pros.

However, all this sort of highlighted a point for me that, though I sort of realized it beforehand, it had never really been brought home until I started doing this little side research.  Fact is, even before we had a disc priest, I almost never cast my PW:S anyways.  As holy, especially in Ulduar, the spell is almost useless and at best will buy you less than half a second’s worth of time.  It used to be that you could rely on PW:S to hold off damage during emergencies if you had no instant spells ready and the tank just needed that extra couple of seconds for a big heal to land.

But not anymore, really.  With even the trash in Ulduar being fr srs, our shield is gone almost before we even cast it with minimal benefit to whoever receives it.  This fact relegates it to almost being a non-spell for us and with the rise of other spells in an arsenal, such as Prayer of Healing, our version of shield has lost even more capital than it had, which wasn’t much to begin with.  Though the spell is still sitting on my hotbar, I don’t think I’ve purposefully cast it more than once or twice since 3.1 landed, even with the lack of disc goodness that we now have.  It simply wasn’t worth the time or effort to do so.

Nowadays, Holy spec is all about healing muscle, pumping out those big heals and dropping AoE bombs like it ain’t no thang.  On the other hand, Discipline spec is more sleek and aerodynamic, designed to stave off damage and keep people alive as long as humanly possible.  When you look at the purpose of the two specs, you can see why holy would leave their shield out in the rain more often.  You see, when confronted with raid wide damage, our concern is not how to slow it, but how to reverse it.  We want to see big green blobs of number pop up over the raid, not shiny bubbles popping up left and right.  We don’t care how much damage you take as long as it’s not one or two shotting you.

Now don’t get me wrong, PW:S is a real whizz-bang of a spell in it’s own right.  On the extremely rare occasions where I run five mans, I do actually use the spell a lot more regularly as it has it’s places in those sort of instances.  I also do use it in emergency situations, popping it on myself when I need to worry about other raiders and need a quick stop-gag for damage.  But for the most part, the spell sits on my hotbar, collecting dust and looking at me forlornly while asking in a high-pitched, chipmunk voice why I don’t love it anymore.  It’s not you, shield, it’s me.  I’m just no good for you, anymore.  I’ve been ruined by Circle of Healing’s siren song.  But don’t worry, shield, because someone loves you, and that someone is a disc priest.

-Dueg

Is WoW too Low Brow?

Pictured: WoW?

Let me start this post with an admission.  I’ve strayed.  Look, it’s not that I don’t find WoW sexy anymore or think that it’s gotten too old or anything.  WoW’s the same vibrant, sexy game that I have and will always cherish deep in my heart, it’s true.  But still, lately I’ve found myself in the arms of a different game, one that could satisfy needs that WoW simply never could.  Yes, lately my boots have been under the bed of Elder Scrolls IV.

I don’t know how it happened!  There I was in Best Buy, minding my own business in the video game section as I’m want to do when I go to the ol’ double B, when our eyes just locked.  I couldn’t resist her in that cute little game of the year box, with the original game and both expansions included for only twenty bucks.  We tried to play it coy, but before I even knew what was happening, her cellophane was strewn across my floor and, well, let’s just say that I’ve had quite a few late nights lately, if you know what I mean.

However, during my infidelity there was one stark contrast between the games that made me begin to wonder.  You see, super nerds such as myself have usually grown up with their noses deep into the fantasy genre, drinking deeply from the font of the likes of J.R.R. Tolkein, R.A. Salvatore and Robert Jordan.  The thing about writers of this magnitude, however, is that they often write what is commonly considered “high fantasy.”

For those of you not familiar with high fantasy, the best example is Lord of the Rings and the whole Middle-Earth mythos that Tolkien built from scratch.  High fantasy builds on itself, creating lore heavy backgrounds and trying it’s best to not just give you a view of an alternate world, but to submerse you in a wholly fantastic realm.  There’s nothing there other than human beings to remind you of the real world, because fantasy is supposed to be separate from reality.

Now anyone who’s played Elder Scrolls IV knows that this is the type of world you find yourself in when playing that game.  I was thrown into a completely new world, made to explore and find out the rich background and side stories of this digital reality.  It felt like what a fantasy realm should feel like with unbelievable mysteries and intrepid adventuring left and right, allowing me to become Frellen, the Dark Elf Spellsword who closed the Gates of Oblivion and saved Cyrodiil from certain destruction.  Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

But then I come back to WoW.  Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m saying that WoW is the equivalent of a dirty redneck in overalls shaking hands with the president or anything like that.  WoW does have it’s own rich lore and is constantly compounding it through quests and side material for the game.  However, when compared to other games or fantasy stories, you find something lacking in WoW’s make up.  It doesn’t feel the same.  It’s just not high fantasy.

For one, there’s a lot of real world references, somewhat breaking the fourth wall.  Though fun and often chuckle-worthy, these sort of things do serve to highlight that this is a game world, an unreality.  Real life intrudes upon the setting you’ve placed yourself in and reminds you that it is only a game, just a fantasy, something not real.  Though reminders of real life are important for an MMO, by admitting your falsehood through references such as that, you break the fantasy and take something away from the experience.

Then there’s the cartoonish appearance of the characters and world in general.  With large, over exaggerated, almost caricature like architecture, you occasionally feel as though you may have accidently wandered onto a Saturday morning cartoon.  And though it’s not like the characters bear any sort of resemblance to Mickey Mouse or anything, they definitely do not look real.  Even the humans have what I consider a slight, almost anime-ish sort of quality about them.  This only serves to further separate you from the fantasy of WoW, making you feel less connected with the world of Azeroth than you could.

Some might argue that these are part of WoW’s appeal to the masses at large and I one hundred percent agree to that.  Real world references and subtle reminders that this is just a game and not meant to be looked at seriously as most high fantasy works are does add likability to the game.  11.5 million people can’t be all wrong, after all.  But WoW also loses something off the other end, a feeling of submersion and true fantasy that a lot of us nerds, obviously WoW’s base, yearn for at times.  I don’t believe that the game is losing subscribers by the boatload because of this, but I wander at times whether or not WoW could benefit from a little more fantasy at times.

Either way, though I may spend a few weeks in throes of nerdy passion with this other game, I know that it truly doesn’t mean anything at all.  WoW is still the one for me, the one I’ll always come home to.  Eventually, my Elder Scrolls disk will sit on my CD spindle with Neverwinter Nights, Dawn of War II and all the other games that I have had fleeting trysts with.  In the end, there’s only WoW, patient and understanding of my trifling ways.  

Chicken Butt.

-Dueg

The Sunday Cop-out, Wherein Dueg Recruits a Tart

So lately our leadership has been bemoaning the fact that though our healing team rocks the casbah we’re also somewhat incomplete.  We have myself, holy priest extraordinaire, two tree druids, a resto shaman and a holy pally with a part time resto shammie and tree druid.  However, in spite of this totally ass kicking team (and we do kick ass), we’ve always been missing that little bit of mitigation that comes with having a disc priest along for the ride.

Oh, we had a couple of pretenders, one who was too casual and another who couldn’t seem to live for longer than twenty seconds on a boss fight, but no real contenders.  I don’t think I’ve raided with a disc priest other than my little experiment with the spec more than three or four times since I started doing such crazy things.  We’ve all agreed that we need one though, a good one who will be there for raids and knows how to play the class.  But, alas, we were discless.

Then, the stars aligned and a little bird tweeted me, letting me know of a possibility.  Off in the far reaches of Dunemaul server, a little box had been shipped off from her previous guild and told not to return.  Unfettered and roaming, she was looking for a new place to call home, a new guild to welcome her.  Well, I spoke with our leadership, who’s exact words were “DO IT NAO” regarding having her app to the guild.  So she did, and she was accepted and lo, there was much rejoicing.

And so, I now introduce to you, the newest member of <NEED A DISPENSER HERE>, ladies and gentlemen, Tartshapdbox:Unfortunately, I’m a schmoe and when I actually saw her in game the other day forgot to take any screenshots, so I had to use one from her site, but I assure you, she looks the same.  Anyways, all I have to say is welcome to Darkspear, Tart, I’m sure you’re going to rock as our newest member, and I’ll see you tomorrow night for a little Ulduar 25 man action!

-Dueg

Saturday RP – Strangers

The Lich came flying in, his eager head low with intensely glowing eyes as it smelled the blood of it’s enemy’s flowing through their veins.  The rictus smile of death on it’s face seemed to grow even wider as fel magics began to course through it’s arms, causing it’s hands to glow with a deathly pale light.  Reyk dug his feet in and raised his sword to the threat, prepared to sell his life dearly as Dueg prayed for fortitude against their coming trial and Scrat pulled a small, intricately carved totem from his pack.  The three stood defiant before death’s agent, prepared for the worst.

Suddenly a huge, dark shape shot from the edge of the clearing.  A blur of black and blue with a sword easily as tall as Dueg’s shoulders, the massive shape bared down on the rushing lich, slicing in with a powerful stroke.  From behind where it had just appeared, a bolt of flame shot over the shape’s shoulder, flaring against the lich and setting it’s tattered robes alight.  Thrown off course by the sudden attack from it’s side, the lich was forced to circle around and back up, raising it’s defenses against the whole of the suddenly bolstered group facing it.  The massive dark shape stopped it’s mad rush and instead set into a defensive stance, it’s sword slowly winding back and forth in a defensive pattern through the air.

The shape resolved itself into a massive tauren, it’s matted fur the blue-black color of a nasty bruise and it’s eyes lit by the cold powers of the grave.  The heavy plate armor it wore could not hide the signs of decay that had begun to creep along the tauren’s withering skin and face.  From behind the defensively crouched form of the tauren a small, lithe figure slipped from between the tree trunks, the long, upward pointing ears betraying her blood elven background as her hand weaved an intricate pattern into the air, forming another ball of green, lambent fire.  The two faced off against the lich as the three still conscious companions turned to face the threat in a unified manner.

The lich paused, recalculating it’s odds now with the new additions to the fray and deciding that the time had come to make a tactical retreat.  With a rageful shout of defiance, the lich suddenly folded it’s still smoldering robes around itself and began to shrink within the center of itself.  After a second, it disappeared with a small, fizzling pop, leaving behind the scent of rotten eggs and sulfur and allowing the clearing to finally regain a normal temperature.  The tauren snorted and sheathed his mammoth sword while the blood elf allowed her ball of hellish fire to gently fade away.  She turned and gave a quick curtsy at the three still somewhat bewildered companions.

“Serae Lightwill at your service, travelers, and no thanks necessary, we help out where we can,” she said with a broad smile.  The tauren suddenly raised his head, sniffing at the air and then eagerly padding off to the edge of the clearing, crouching down and examining the bottom of the tree trunks.  Serae screwed up her delicate features in a quick look of annoyance before sighing gently, “That rotting hunk of meat is my personal bodyguard, Ayunn, a reprieved knight from Arthas’ now defunct order.”

“A Death Knight?” exclaimed Reyk as his eyes looked over to the still crouched tauren who was running his meaty fingers through the various sprigs of plant life growing through the underfoot of the forest, “I thought all of Arthas’ fallen heroes had rebranded themselves and were in a campaign to destroy the Betrayer, why is this one in your employ?”

“Most did, it’s certainly true, but not all still burned for combat and wished to take the fight to the doorstep of Icecrown.  Some, like my dear Ayunn over there, decided that their unlife was their own to do with as they please.  So he left the order and eventually we met up.  He was wondering aimless and a beautiful young merchant such as myself can certainly use the extra protection when out peddling her wares to the frontier settlements of Northrend.”

“Most merchants don’t know how to corral the hellish fires of demons like you certainly did,” Dueg said as he eyed her suspiciously.

The petite blood elf woman folded her arms across her chest and frowned severely, “Perhaps you would have preferred we simply minded our own business?  Maybe walked on by with our noses in the air?  Talk about looking a gift Hawkstrider in the beak.”

Dueg stammered slightly, taken aback, “uh… well, I…”

Scrat quickly stepped forward, “Be not worrying, about ‘im, you ‘ave our gratitude,” he said, extending a three fingered hand to her.

Suddenly her eyes went wide as she stared at the indigo digits held out for her and took a step back, “Assault!  Robbery!” she began to scream.

Now it was Scrat’s turn to step back, quickly pulling his arm back to his side and stammering an apology.  Ayunn looked up from the tree trunks, dropping the flowers he had been collecting and snorting as he barreled back across the clearing, drawing his sword once more.  Within seconds he stood between Serae and the three bewildered companions, his eyes glowing fiercely and his sword held defensively between them.  Ayunn’s cold, dead eyes scanned all three of them, waiting for one of them to go on the attack so he would have a reason to attack.  One of Serae’s small, delicate hands appeard from behind him, gently patting one of his massive arms.

“It’s ok, Ayunn, simply a drill.  You did marvelously.”  The tauren looked behind him to her then snorted in obvious annoyance, re-sheathing his weapon and stepping aside as Serae came forward once more.  ”Sorry about that, my friends, but one has to keep their security sharp on on their toes, or hooves as it were.  And now, we must be going, need to be in Venomspite by tomorrow afternoon in order to drop off a shipment of alchemical supplies.”

Serae reached over, taking Ayunn’s proffered hand and placing a slippered foot on his knee as she swung up to delicately sit upon his shoulder and look down at the three and their unconscious mage.  ”Was truly a pleasure meeting all of you, hope to do it again sometime, but without the lich, eh?”  She patted Ayunn gently on the head,  ”Let’s go, no time for distractions and this time watch out for low hanging branches and no stopping for flowers!  I swear, we’re going to be late if I have to indulge…”

Slowly her voice faded as the three looked at each other and shrugged, unsure of the whole bizarre encounter that had just occurred.  Quickly they cleaned up the camp and placed the unconscious form of Noxt onto his bedroll to give him time to recover from the mental intrusion wrought on him by the lich.  Once they had him settled, they quickly doused the fire so as to not betray their position again and began to gather up their packs in order to be ready to move the moment Noxt had recovered.  It was then that they noticed that all of their supplies had been stolen.

-Dueg

Friday Strats – Kologarn

LOUD NOISES!

So now that we’ve gotten that dumb ol’ Siege of Ulduar area out of the way, it’s time to start with the Antechamber of Ulduar.  When you initially walk in, you’ll have to fight your way down a short hallway and you’ll arrive at a large foyer with a set of stairs and hallways off to the left and right.  Some guilds will break left and go take out Iron Council first, but we usually make our way up to the stairs and take out Kologarn first, so that’s the order I’m going in.  When you first get everyone set up on the terrace, make sure that nobody enters the room.  It looks safe, but if you go too far past the archway, Kologarn will pop up out of the ground and smash your face pretty quickly.  So make sure to get everyone on the terrace for the prep and not any farther forward.

The Prep

You’ll need at least three tanks for Kologarn, but some people suggest using four.  We’ve done it with only three, but our preferred method is with four as it makes the fight about ten times easier.  Once you have your tanks assigned, you’ll need at least 4 healing assignments, two for the Kologarn tanks and two who are dedicated to just raid healing with your leftovers helping out back and forth where necessary.  There’s going to be a lot of raid wide damage and a lot of spike damage on the two main tanks, so make sure you have heavy hitters for AoE and tank heals.  

You’ll need the raid to spread out behind the melee once Kologarn pops up.  Your best bet is to have everyone line up that way if they get eyebeamed sometime during the fight they can simply turn around and run away and avoid dragging the beams through someone else.  Casters and healers will also have to be careful not to get too close to Kologarn as he will hit you with an ability that interrupts casting and school locks you for a few seconds afterwards.  Once assignments have gone out and everyone is aware of their positioning, have the raid buff up and run in with the first main tank in the lead.

The Fight

Kologarn himself is actually comprised of three targetable mobs.  Himself in the middle, his right arm (your left when you enter) and his left arm (your right).  Each part of him has it’s own special attacks and all three will be working simultaneously during the fight.  The middle part, Kologarn himself, has three unique attacks.  The first is called Overhead Smash, which decreases the target’s armor by 25% and interrupts casting for up to 8 seconds.  This is the reason you need multiple tanks dedicated to the boss as once the main tank gets two stacks of this debuff, which lasts 45 seconds, the other main tank will have to taunt and pick Kologarn up.  Your MT healers will also have to be very quick on their feet and ready to heal spike damage that will be incoming while the MT has reduced armor.

His second attack is an eyebeam that will focus on random players and chase them around for a few seconds.  The beams deal up to 4,300 nature damage on whoever they hit and will continually tick every second, killing you pretty quickly if you don’t move.  Some people run all the way out of the room, I usually make a long curved line along the back, going from one side of the room to the other.  Either way, you’ll see two beams begin to focus in on you if you get targeted, at which point you must move right away to keep from getting eaten alive.  

The third attack is called Petrifying breath and he’ll only cast this spell if his main aggro target is not with melee range.  This spell has a 4 second channel and once it goes off, it will deal up to 21,500 nature damage on the entire raid and leave behind a debuff that increases damage taken by 20 seconds for 8 seconds.  For this reason, it’s extremely important whoever the main tank is, they are always within melee range.  This shouldn’t be a problem for most people, just be careful when you’re moving in as you can fall off the edge in front of Kologarn if you’re not careful.

So now that you’ve got your two main tanks focused on Kologarn himself, you’ll need the dps to be working on his right arm (your left).  This arm will attack by casting stone grip on random people, pulling them into his fist and squeezing them, which deals up to 5,600 damage every second and will eventually one shot them if you don’t break them out quick enough.  The only way to break them out is to deal 450,000 damage to the arm.  This is why it’s smart to have your dps simply killing the arm instead of focusing on Kologarn himself.  Once the arm is dead, it will disappear, deal about 15% of his total health in damage to Kologarn, and spawn a pack of about 6 or 8 earth elementals that need to immediately be picked up by a tank and pulled away from the raid.

In heroic, these mobs will be dealing AoE damage and leaving a debuff behind that increases damage taken for a few seconds, which will spell doom if either of your main tanks get, so it is vital that they are pulled away from the raid.  In ten man, it’s actually suggested that your off tank pull the rubble into the melee as they do not have the AoE damage and debuff and you can AoE the elementals and Kologarn.  DPS needs to switch from the boss to the rubble so they can be destroyed as quickly as possible.  In twenty five man, if any of these mobs start running through the raid, it can easily spell doom, so we usually have two off tanks ready to pick them up and pull them to the same spot.  The arm will respawn after 60 seconds.

The left arm (your right) can largely be ignored for most of the raid.  The one attack it has is an AoE damage strike called Shockwave that hits the entire raid for up to 13,400 nature damage.  Raid healers must be prepared to counter this damage which he will cast often.  Generally we simply heal through that damage, but if Kologarn himself and the left arm are both low after destroying the right arm, we’ll kill the left quickly in order to just have it deal the damage of a dying arm and hopefully kill Kologarn.  This arm spawns the same type of elementals as the right does when it dies, so you’ll need to have tanks ready for that as well.

Some guilds simply switch back and forth on arms, killing the right first and then dpsing the left till the right re-spawns and switching back to that one.  Healers will need to be aware of when off tanks have the adds on them and be ready to heal bomb them in order to keep them up.  If the adds get loose in the raid, it’s all over.  The main tank healers will also need to be prepared for spike damage on the tank and watch for when they’ve got 50% armor reduction as they will need all you’ve got to stay standing during those few moments.  If you have four tanks and one of your main tanks goes down, have one of the off tanks step in while the other takes over add duty by him or herself.

The Loot

10 Man

Emerald Signet Ring – This is an very sweet little hit rating ring.  Shadow priests will definitely want to look out for this one.

Spark of Hope – I don’t know about this one or any other of Ulduar’s somewhat lackluster trinkets.  Probably only attractive for holy priests, I would probably only recommend this if you’re having mana problems.  Would come in very handy for General Vezax though.

Pendant of the Piercing Glare – Another very very attractive piece of hit gear for shadow priests.

25 Man

Bracers of Unleashed Magic – With hit and haste, these are and ideal shadow priest wrist slot item.

Robes of the Umbral Brute – With the utter lack of spirit, I would say leave these for shadow or disc priests, but holy might still want to give these a look-see if they need the upgrade.

Handwraps of Plentiful Recovery – These are sweet gloves for any spec, just make sure not too lose too much crit for the haste on them.

Ironmender – One of only three off hand frills in Ulduar and the only heroic one without a hit rating, this one has more of a dps feel to it.  The one that drops from normal Ignis is probably a better match for a healer.

So that’s Kologarn.  He’s really not that difficult of a fight as long as raiders are mobile when eye beams come out and healers are on the ball about throwing out heals to counteract the spike and raid wide damage that he does.  Next week we’ll be heading on over to the Assembly of Iron for a little metallic fun.

-Dueg