Ah yes, gentle jerkwads, the sounds of love are all around and small, winged goblins who are way underdressed flit about hither and thither, spreading the joy of Valentine’s day to all those who wish to feel it’s warm embrace. Chocolate flows like water and romantic picnics are all the fad as people get in the spirit for WoW’s annual Valentine’s Day holiday, Love is in the Air. From melting ice stones to amorous city guards, there’s plenty for all holiday goers to celebrate and much to be had in the special gifts of adoration being handed out to those willing to spread the love and pass out some tokens to lonely guards of questionable morals.
And here is where our hero steps into the picture. I arrived in Undercity to let all these brave and tireless city guards and vendors know just how much I appreciated their hard and thankless jobs. After collecting the appropriate cologne and tokens of affection, I approached the closest guard and patted him on the exposed intestines. “Hey buddy,” I said while holding out a card, “you’re just swell!”
The guard then proceeds to shit all over my heart as he knocks the card out of my hand, and tells me that I’d have to be crazy to think that he, HE, Alfred P. Exposedguts III would ever have anything to do with my bony Blood Elf ass. Thanks Blizzard, I just died a little on the inside.