21
Feb
09

An Open Letter to Blizzard

Hi, Blizzard, do you know me?  You might, you take 15 dollars from my bank account every month, so I might seem interesting to you.  In exchange you provide me with this game, one that I enjoy immensely, please don’t doubt, and provide excellent support and customer service.  I’m certainly not here to complain about that, no sir-e-bob.  However…

Well, let me roll back a little, I’m a priest, one of the healing classes in the game.  You see, I’m a giver: health, my time, buffs, gold even, if I can afford it, and I certainly do enjoy giving.  It’s for this reason that I’m somewhat hesitant to write you this letter, but a breaking point has been reached!  I can no longer sit idly by while myself and my holy brethren are forced to endure the shame and ridicule that you so regularly heap upon us.  No, Blizzard, I ask… no, I demand that something be done and that this travesty against all priest-kind be addressed forthwith!

I am, of course, talking about Spirit of Redemption.  Now don’t get me wrong, the talent itself is fantastic.  The mechanics work great and it’s prevented a wipe more often than I like to admit.  The subtle Star Wars reference in the buff description (You have become more powerful than anyone can possibly imagine) makes for grade A humor and allows for jokes amongst the guild.  Also, people with their infinite creativity have come up with humorous new names for it: Improved Death, Priest PvP Form, LoLAngel.  All that stuff is fantastic.  No, Blizzard, I am writing to you to make one request, and a small one at that:  

Stop making me look like an asshole during raids.

FAIL

FAIL

Let me just say, I’m alright with dyeing during raids.  It’s gonna happen and I’ve consigned myself to regular 40 to 50 gold repair bills (at least I’m not a tank, right?).  I’m just not sure why you have decided to place the equivalent of the Vegas strip over my lifeless corpse.  I pay my monthly subscription just like everyone else and yet I am forced to endure the shame of raid wide, immediate knowledge of my demise.  Each time I die in the raid, I also die, just a little, right in my heart as well.  “Dueg down!” they all cry, because they all know!

So perhaps you can look into this and make it just slightly less obvious is all I’m saying.  Perhaps I can turn into a nice, unassuming, invisible wisp that shushes people when they call out my death? Or maybe I just grow a set of wings with the option to mute Chatty Cathies on vent?  Either way, Blizzard, the time has come to let myself, and all priests everywhere, have their dignity back.  Is it really so much to ask?

-Dueg

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8 Responses to “An Open Letter to Blizzard”


  1. 02/21/2009 at 4:09 PM

    Lyrandre the disc priest goes aha, my death is subtle!

  2. 02/21/2009 at 4:20 PM

    Your guild already knows because they’re usually the one’s killing you

  3. 3 Anea
    02/21/2009 at 5:04 PM

    Hm – I never thought about it as broadcasting my death. Even though it’s doing that – loud and clear! (At least it lets me know when I have to step it up a bit in encounters to cover the deal healer’s butt) 😡

    However! I thought at first that you were going to make a case for having a male form as well as a female form – I often wondered how the male characters felt about turning into women for the duration of their Improved Death.

  4. 02/21/2009 at 5:57 PM

    @Anea I never thought of that… I smell another letter!

  5. 5 Scrat!
    02/22/2009 at 4:05 AM

    15 dollars, you’re lucky they don’t cut you off and watch you shrivel up and die from withdrawal. Make the angel bigger Blizz.

    ps: watching you die is WHY i go to raids.

  6. 02/22/2009 at 8:35 AM

    Well, people do lol at me in SoR but… I guess it could be worse? … Nah, it can’t be worse… 😦
    Btw, I thought angels didn’t have a gender? So how can a guy turn into a woman? 😛 They just turn into… A genderless angel. I think… =/

  7. 7 pugnaciouspriest
    02/22/2009 at 10:07 AM

    there does look like there could be boobs there..

  8. 02/22/2009 at 12:38 PM

    What can I say? Dueg looks like a lady


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