Silly Newb is Silly

So as I’ve stated before, our guild has been recruiting somewhat aggressively lately and we were able to bring some new apps in.  However, there was one rather… interesting app.  Now this guy isn’t on the level of Fail Sauceor anything like that and he’s not exactly causing trouble so much as being hilarious, but he still gives me pause.  However, I will let you be the judge as I relate to you the story of Silly Newb.

The best advice I can give

The best advice I can give

I’ll start with some background.  Silly Newb posted on our forums a week ago stating that he was as a shadow priests, no, strike that, THE shadow priest (his words) willing to grace us with his awesomeness.  That’s not a problem though, nothing wrong with confidence in an app, right?  However, what struck me as odd was that he was only level 60 when he apped.  “Don’t worry,” says Silly Newb in his app, “I’ll be 80 in two weeks.”

So all the officers go into a huddle and it’s decided that, though unusual, this app is pretty ballsy to even post on the forums.  According to him, however, he already has a level 80 Alliance druid that he leveled from 60 to 80 in no time at all and is more than confidant he can do it again.  After further discussion it’s decided that we’ll let him in on a trial basis on the condition that he be level 80 and geared for at least Naxx 25 by March 24th.  A bit of a tall order, but far from impossible for THE shadow priest.  This is about where things start to go slightly awry for Silly Newb.

We bring him into the guild, set him up with limited forum access and basically tell him to get to work and start making those levels.  However, as my buddy Scrat so eloquently put it, he became like a friend you invite over who starts telling all your other guests what to do.  One of the first things he does with his forum access is starts commenting on other app’s posts, telling them what they should do to improve their class and play style.  Yeah, the officers weren’t pleased about that.

The second thing he does is makes a post in our guild comments section asking for people to come and help him in Zangarmarsh so he can complete some group quests.  Now I’m all for helping out lowbies, trust me, I’ve run Sunken Temple more times that I’d like to admit, but posting on the forums?  And for Zangar?  I mean, if you’re shooting for level 80 as quickly possible, just level till you can go to the next zone and abandon all your leftover quests.  One of the officers posted telling him not to bother the guild with that kind of stuff and just move on.

So Silly Newb, who doesn’t know that this is an officer speaking to him, proceeds to ask her who the hell she thinks she is as this is the same person who told him to re-app when he was 80.  This led to a lot of hilarity as the following 10 posts were filled with open derision and poking of fun at Silly Newb.  But it still makes me nervous because the simple fact of the matter is that Silly Newb is the one who has something to prove, but he’s already acting like it’s a done deal and he’s in the guild.

It gets better though.  Last night we’re running Naxx and just as we’re getting ready to do a little disco dancing, he begins to ask where he should go in Outlandto level now that he’s done with Zangar.  “Where’d you go on your druid?”  someone asks.  “I don’t remember, lol,” says Silly Newb.  Lol indeed.  How do you forget?  Outland is relatively tiny and there’s only two options really and apparently he can’t figure out how to walk on paths or what breadcrumb quests are.

Of course, this led to the highlight of my evening when Scrat asked him if he still had the instruction manual for WoW.  I then suggested that maybe he should go to Kunark cause there’s hella exp there, so much more than Antonica.  This degenerated into a 20 minute nerd fest for all the OG Everquest players, of course.  But, though hilarious, it does not solve the problem of what to do about Silly Newb.

So I ask you, gentle jerkwads, how would you handle this situation?  There’s already speculation that he’ll get dropped before the trial period ends based on his attitude.  We’re also starting a pool of how high we think he’ll actually level by trial’s end (I got 76, c’mon big money!).  But the real issue at hand is that we said we’d give him a chance but he’s already effin it up before he’s even really started.  We don’t mind helping out, but in a progression guild you need to be able to help yourself and this guy is not proving that he can do that.  Oh, and he also informed us last night that apparently half his house burned down and that may cause him to be late on the trial date now.  I smell trouble, and it’s name is Silly Newb.



18 Responses to “Silly Newb is Silly”

  1. 03/12/2009 at 10:40 AM

    I vote kick, kickety, kick kick kick.

    Mostly because he just seems like trouble. Telling other people how to play the game, but clearly not so hot at it himself?


  2. 03/12/2009 at 10:41 AM

    Heh, I’d say the fact he is still in the guid at this point is a testament to the patience of your officers. Or perhaps, it’s the comic relief he provides to the guild?

  3. 03/12/2009 at 10:43 AM

    Aren’t recruits GREAT?

  4. 03/12/2009 at 10:54 AM

    Well dammit, I rolled a lvl 1 priest on your realm and was going to apply to be THE shadow priest. Foiled again.

  5. 03/12/2009 at 10:57 AM

    I would suggest a wake-up call when he is removed from the guild. Explain the difference in saying something (or typing it) and not coming through. I.E. failing to deliver. He almost sounds like a 13 year old with his head a bit too high, sitting his golden tooshy on a pretty soft pedestal. They don’t learn if they’re never informed *nod*.

    In other news, this totally reminds me of the time my boyfriend was grouped up in a PUG and one guy (horrible horrible dps) said BRB Shower…in the middle of the instance.

  6. 6 xeonio
    03/12/2009 at 11:55 AM

    I say keep him around ’til at least the end of his trial period. That way you can see who has won the pool. Plus the comedic value Silly Newb offers seems to be a lot. Unless he becomes a hair pulling annoyance I wouldn’t kick him until he fails to deliver on his cutoff date.

  7. 7 Chibikeni
    03/12/2009 at 11:59 AM

    ‘Thank you for your trial with us, the council decided you’re the Realm NEWB of the Hour, Good-day and fun applying to other guilds. /gkick Newb’

    Acting stuck-up, can be mildly tolerated if you perform. However failing to perform and acting he’s the Effing Grand-Poobah of All just puts the guild leader’s threshold at a limit. Someone should put a Simon Cowell stunt and ask the Newb to exit the door ASAP after commenting.

  8. 8 Tigerfeet
    03/12/2009 at 1:27 PM

    Depends on your server and your PR actually. I’m on a relatively small server (there’s not a whole lot of guilds at the top). This guy sounds like when (not if) you do get rid of him he’s going to cause a lot of drama.

    Now, we know drama will be happening. If you really don’t care that he goes around causing a stink with all fingers pointed at your guild then go ahead and get rid of him now, it’ll make things easier.

    If you’d like to be a little ‘kinder’, then keep him until the trial period is up and politely apologize to him but state firmly that you don’t have room in your roster for members who can’t meet commitments. Tell him that if he really wants to be a part of your raiding team he’s welcome to take as much time as he needs to get himself ready on his own and re-apply when that time comes.

    Oh, and as for half his house burning down? Screenshot or it didn’t happen.

  9. 9 Anea
    03/12/2009 at 1:43 PM

    Kick him. He has a bad attitude – confidence is one thing but being as full of yourself (with seemingly no cause!) is just a bad sign. What will happen if he actually made it to 80 and you had to fit him AND his big ego in the guild?

    No good will come of it.

  10. 03/12/2009 at 2:30 PM

    I say keep him in forever, but don’t let him raid. Conveniently tell him the wrong times or pretend like it’s always full. =] That way you get to make fun of him AND no one else has to deal with him.

  11. 11 Scrat!
    03/12/2009 at 2:35 PM

    i lub him

  12. 03/12/2009 at 8:47 PM

    Ooch, stories like this make me scared since my guild’s recruiting again too 😡
    I’d say keep him till the end of trial if you guys don’t think he’ll actually hit 80, just so you can say you’ve kept your word. If there’s even a tiny chance he’ll get there at the rate he’s going then kick him now. Any potential drama he’d kick up form the outside is gonna be less than his attitude would cause you guys with him in your guild!

    That all said, my curiosity and love of watching other people’s drama hopes you keep him and keep us informed! Mmm shadow priest car crash…

  13. 13 pugnaciouspriest
    03/12/2009 at 9:46 PM

    I would have made him reapp at 80 – It was obvious he had no end game xp as that class, and I’ll defend my class and say. Reading theory is alot different to doing.

    In addition I would asked for the druids name/checked out the acheivements and so on.

  14. 03/13/2009 at 8:57 AM

    I know it’s probably been said before, but the guy is lying through his teeth.

    Even if he does make it to 80 on time, he’s not going to be fun to work with.


    That’s my prediction.

  15. 03/13/2009 at 9:06 AM

    Yeah, we severely doubt this guy will be a part of the guild, but I think it’s going to be a case of we said we’d give him a shot, so we’ll let him have it. He’s going to have to really eff it up to get booted before then. Hopefully his hijinks will be enough to make up for it.

  16. 03/13/2009 at 8:22 PM

    He’s almost valuable as just comic relief in an odd way. Heh. We’ve had some interesting apps…. and we’re actually pretty casual. We still like to have a screening process so it doesn’t get overrun with unlike-minded folks.

    We once had this horrendous application. No one posted a response to it for a few days because all of us officers didn’t quite know what to make of it. Finally I posted something like “Thanks for your interest and application, but it does not sound like our guild is a good fit for you. Good luck in your search.”

    I then hear from another officer thanking me for posting the pass because they weren’t sure how to word it.

    But then, another officer (knowing I used to be on an RP realm) asked if they were RPing in their app. I was like *cringe* that was NOTHING like RP.

    People never cease to amaze me. Nevah.

  17. 03/14/2009 at 6:42 AM

    lol. lies at a harmless trial stage may be of comic value, but will most likely be just drama and a pain if accepted as an actual member. Besides, anyone who asks for help in Zangarmarsh is not worthy whatsoever of being THE. shadowpriest.

  18. 03/14/2009 at 1:08 PM

    You know. I’d like to see the ratio of WoW players versus non-WoW players who are victims of house fires.

    Not to be insensitive or anything, but I’ve just heard of too many players having to quit or take a break because of that exact reason.

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