Horde v Alliance, Let’s Get This Party Started

That looks about right

That looks about right

Yesterday I was sifting through my google reader when this little gem popped up from WoW.com.  In it, Allison Robert (who’s writing style I love, btw) makes a spectacular argument for why Varian Wrynn isn’t just an unfit leader and total jerkface, but also why he’s a fool and how his actions are actually serving to further damage the Alliance rather than help it.  She points out how he’s allowing personal vendettas and his understandably unbalanced emotions to dictate Alliance policy, further fracturing the tenuous peace in place with the Horde.  If you haven’t read it already, I suggest you go read it right now, but be prepared as it’s a long one.

One thing about this article is how it highlights the fact that more and more lately, these two political superpowers are on a collision course to full scale war against each other again.  With Wrynn baying for blood and Garrosh’s growing influence over Horde policies and it’s military, it’s only a matter of time until a small spark sets off the powder keg that is the Horde-Alliance diplomatic relationship.  And on that day, Dueg will stand upon the ramparts, looking down at the milling armies of his enemies, and say, “It’s about fucking time”.

Yes, I’m a warmonger.  I identify with my Blood Elf priest much more than I ever did with my dwarf (or my night elf, or my human) priest and I can say that I’ve grown tired of Varian Wrynn being all emo and whiny.  “Oh, the horde killed my parents, the horde enslaved me and threw me in an arena which made me the totally awesome fighter I am today, boo hoo, woe is me”.  Barf.  Look, the fact is that it’s almost universally accepted that Wrynn, though slightly justified, is a total ass who wants only war.  So c’mon Wrynn, shit or get off the pot.

I’ve also got some ideas for the coming war, which I call Wrynn’s War (you can use that, Blizzard, you’re welcome), such as how to start it and various things that can be done in game.  First off, though I’m loathe to say this as he’s one of my favorite video game characters of all time, Thrall’s got to go.  He’s too wishy-washy and always hemming and hawing when it comes to decisive military action.  It’s noble to want peace, but when it’s time for war you must put away the diplomat’s pen and I just don’t think Thrall can do that.

So I think that the best way to get the war started, and Jezriyah will have to forgive me for this, is the assassination of Thrall by Varian’s agents followed by a surprise attack on one of the major Horde cities.  However, if the Alliance makes the first move, then Wrynn will have an uphill battle trying to convince the other leaders within his faction to go along with it, especially the haughty Night Elves and spiritual Draenei.  So the answer is to have an assassination within the Alliance upper echelons orchestrated by Wrynn in order to make it look like a retaliation instead of an offensive.  The perfect target?  Jaina Proudmoore.  Get her and Thrall out of the way and the two loudest voices for peace are gone.  

You could even spare Thrall and simply have Jaina assassinated by Wrynn who would then begin an offensive by blaming it on the Horde, but I believe this would lead to a power struggle between Garrosh and Thrall.  Thrall will, of course, want peace and most likely try to fight a defensive war while trying to expose Wrynn for the maniac that he is and Garrosh will want to go on the offensive, reveling in the bloodshed like the orc he is.  However, that would weaken the Horde in the face of the oncoming enemy, making defeat and annihilation much more like.  And we certainly can’t have the Horde losing, now can we?

However it gets going though, an all out war between the two factions would mean a plethora of new ideas and mechanics that would be possible within the game.  One idea that I sorely want implemented and would only make sense during war time: Faction specific instances.  Think about it, an instance, raid or five man, where the Horde zone in and all the enemies are Alliance or vice versa.  You must then fight your way to the end in order to bring down an experimental weapon or kill a top army commander.  Raids on cities should also become impossible for the time being as it wouldn’t make much sense for 40 people to stop a war by simply killing the faction leaders.  Maybe extra guards or beef them up so all the guards have boss stats, I dunno.

Fact is, this war’s been a long time coming.  Wrynn’s begging for it and I for one say we should give it to him, bring him down a notch, beat the tar out of him, and all sorts of other colloquial sayings.  What makes me so certain that the Horde would win?  Because if there was a war, the Horde would have to win.  Wrynn won’t be satisfied until every orc and anyone who stands with them is exterminated to the last man, woman and child.  The orcs, who are synonymous with the Horde, only want a place to live, somewhere that they can call home.  Garrosh doesn’t want to destroy his enemies, he wants to humiliate them, prove them his lesser and put them in their places.  Once that’s done, he’ll return home, satisfied that through might he has made an everlasting peace dictated by the orcs. 

So let’s get this show on the road!  The time has come to stop pussyfooting around and finally put sword to bone.  Blizzard’s done so much to promote animosity between the leadership of the factions lately that anything less than total war would be a let down.  Hell’s bells, I think they should devote a full expansion cycle to Wrynn’s War (again, you’re welcome, Blizzard), with war instances and maybe a couple of new Wintergrasp type zones in the middle of both continents from the old world.  The only trick would be to make it so that it’s not simply a venue for PvP but also a way for PvEers to get their war on for their factions.  No matter what happens though, for Dueg it comes down to three little words:

For the Horde.



8 Responses to “Horde v Alliance, Let’s Get This Party Started”

  1. 05/28/2009 at 12:04 PM

    I would be very interested to see where all of this goes…It’s been shown that not even the greatest evils to grace the planet are enough to make Wrynn pull his head out of his ass, so yes, I think you’re right about another all out Horde vs. Alliance war.
    I know that a lot of people are really upset at Thrall’s inactions, and would like to see him smack Garrosh around a bit. Thrall is what the Horde needs, and honestly, I think Jaina makes a much more viable target for assassination than he would. Also – we’ve only really seen Thrall REALLY angry a few times…would that be something we’d like to see unleashed on the Alliance? …Maybe.
    Hmm…much to think about regarding all of this…
    *cow ponders*

  2. 2 Light
    05/28/2009 at 12:06 PM

    Hey I’m Alliance and I don’t like Wyrnn.

    Maybe it’s the night elf in me but…

    Horde and Alliance, please go kill each other somewhere else and call me when you’re done so we can take the land back. kthxbai. 😉

  3. 05/28/2009 at 12:09 PM


    I think an all out war xpac would be a thing of beauty. And I agree that Varian needs to make a decision already. His emo-ness is definitely tiring. I’m still not too sure on the Thrall/Garrosh thing. I think Thrall would lay the pimp hand down on Garrosh if it came to it.

  4. 05/28/2009 at 1:04 PM

    ZOMG I miss my old pvp server.

    /picks up staff and stands next to Dueg looking over the battlefield.

    Payback time!


  5. 5 Jack
    05/28/2009 at 2:13 PM

    Too much talk! Freakin’ elf.


  6. 6 Juzaba
    05/29/2009 at 9:42 AM

    The coolest thing about a faction war expansion? A civil war megapatch.

    In 4.1 intro movie, Thrall orders Garrosh to pull his forces back after a tactical victory, but Garrosh sends the troops in anyways hoping to obliterate the survivors. Thrall reprimands him, in front of the horde and calls him out saying he’s not good enough for his father’s memory, and Garrosh flips out and nearly kills Thrall. Thrall is whisked away to heal his wounds, and Saurfang and Garrosh split the horde in civil war.

    In the meantime, Staghelm decides to boost Teladrassil’s power, but Tyrande opposes him. So Staghelm enchants Darnassus to ward it from Tyrande’s army. Except Tyrande knows that Staghelm is just going to inadvertently open up the Emerald Dream and whatever is plaguing it (this would be 4.2, btw). So they fight. Maybe the Dwarves/Gnomes try to break away from Stormwind, and Undercity/Silvermoon also break off to pursue their kill everything plan.

    Basically, everything is chaos, and players get to work for each faction fighting in various instance battles depending on which side they are with. Plus, it’d be easier on the developers since they wouldn’t need to totally repopulate all of Kalimdor/EKs, just move the NPCs around and make it more war-like.

  7. 7 Elyxaar
    05/30/2009 at 2:16 AM

    Sounds like you’ve been watching too many soaps 😀
    The patch could be called “Days of Our Warcraft” maybe?

  8. 8 Crystalvania
    06/20/2009 at 10:21 PM


    Are you forgetting Sylvanas? It’s pretty clear she has no love for the horde or the alliance. Truth to tell, she appears to be all about starting a new plague and finishing everyone off.

    We also have the Arthas who’s only recently come to the fray. I can’t imagine Blizzard throwing away our new Sith Lo..err I mean Lich King 🙂

    I also have to disagree with you regarding Thrall. I think he’d step up if push came to shove. I also think that when the real war starts we will see 3 possibly even a 4 way fight. Horde vs. Alliance vs. Forsaken vs. Scourge.

    *plink plink*

    Bill (Crystalvania) Kirin Tor server

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