Posts Tagged ‘Alfred P. Exposedguts III

16
Feb
09

My Love is Srs Bsns

The one that got away

Pictured: The one that got away

So Love is in the Air has officialy wrapped up and all I have to show for it is some crumpled chocolate wrappers, a broken heart, and a bucketful of tears from crying all night.  From what I’m reading at various blogs and postings, however, this holiday may have also left a bit of a sour taste in people’s mouths.

First complaint on the list is the gifts of adoration.  More specifically, the hour long cooldown between each receiving of said gift.  This meant that people serious about the achievement were tied to the old world and had to burn hearth cooldowns or log on at least once an hour.  With the shortened time frame compared to other Blizzard holidays, every hour counted thanks to the randomness of about half the achievements necessary for the meta.

Annoying as the cooldown issue was, though, what upset people even more was the randomness of it all.  when you got a gift you usually received a pledge of loyalty for the city you grabbed it from, some friendship bracelets and had a random chance of picking up an item necessary for the achievement.  Whether it was the freaky-deaky vanity pet, that lovely black dress that I swear I only wear for the comfort or maybe the pic-a-nic basket so you and some other loner boners could enjoy themselves for a few minutes. 

But the biggest problem apparently was the Bag of Candiesthat everyone was complaining would never ever drop for them and then you usually had to get at least two to get the achievement because of the randomness of the candies themselves.  Dueg did not have this problem though, oh no, Dueg actually had quite the opposite of this problem.  Before the “fix” I picked up 2 bags in a row on Dueg then managed to get 2 more after it, then got two dresses in a  row. 

However, I had one goal, and one goal only.  All I wanted was a pic-a-nic basket (yes, I am a loner boner), just one so that maybe I could assuage my crippling loneliness after being rejected by Alfred P. Exposedguts III.  Instead I got a pantload of candy hearts (you can find the formula for pantload here) and chocolate and gained about 5 lbs.  One of my alts managed to pick up two baskets though… hooray?  No, gentle jerkwads, a fool for love I am not.

So we come around to the end of my holiday QQ.  Bitter though I may be, I would still like to hear from others about how they spent their holiday in game.  Did you get the title?  Did you even try?  Or will next year be the year of the love fool in your household?

Oh, and a quick congratulations to Anea on getting her title.  See?  You comment on my blog, you get a shoutout.

-Dueg

14
Feb
09

Here I sit, broken hearted…

 

Ah yes, gentle jerkwads, the sounds of love are all around and small, winged goblins who are way underdressed flit about hither and thither, spreading the joy of Valentine’s day to all  those who wish to feel it’s warm embrace.  Chocolate flows like water and romantic picnics are all the fad as people get in the spirit for WoW’s annual Valentine’s Day holiday, Love is in the Air.  From melting ice stones to amorous city guards, there’s plenty for all holiday goers to celebrate and much to be had in the special gifts of adoration being handed out to those willing to spread the love and pass out some tokens to lonely guards of questionable morals.

And here is where our hero steps into the picture.  I arrived in Undercity to let all these brave and tireless city guards and vendors know just how much I appreciated their hard and thankless jobs.  After collecting the appropriate cologne and tokens of affection, I approached the closest guard and patted him on the exposed intestines.  “Hey buddy,” I said while holding out a card, “you’re just swell!”

The guard then proceeds to shit all over my heart as he knocks the card out of my hand, and tells me that I’d have to be crazy to think that he, HE, Alfred P. Exposedguts III would ever have anything to do with my bony Blood Elf ass.  Thanks Blizzard, I just died a little on the inside.

 

The saddest sight you'll ever see

The saddest sight you'll ever see

-Dueg




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