The Sunday Cop-out, Wherein Dueg Notices Something Missing

Sorry for a bit of a late post today, my friends, but I have been pretty busy all day and only have a few moments now.  But I felt that it was of supreme importance that I make it to the computer for at least a few moments today in order to warn you of a most dastardly plot put upon me by the most evil of entities, Blizzard.  I know, “But Dueg,” you say, “how can someone out-dastardly you?  Look at that fine mustache you have, for Pete’s sake!”  To which I respond that Blizzard must have a mustache that curls out about a foot on each side of it’s massive, yet stylish face in order to have done so, but there it is, they’ve done it.

What have they done, you ask?  What could possibly have me up in arms to the point where I’m forced to make a post about it, exposing their vile schemes to the world?  Well I’ll show you gentle jerkwads, if you’ll just stop asking so many questions!  Take a look at this stock photo:

Adorable

Now take a look at this pic taken just moments ago:

Disgusting

Now, other then the change of clothes, can you tell me, what’s missing from pic two that’s in pic one?  Do you see it?  That’s right.  Blizzard has stolen my ears.  Why they would the perpetrate such a vile crime upon such a good and well meaning individual such as myself we’ll probably never know, but I can only say this one thing: Blizzard, this means war.  I’m not sure how, and I’m not sure when, but I promise you, Dueg will have his revenge.  Oh yes, it is on like Donkey Kong till the break of dawn.

-Dueg